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"He'll catch up.""As a parent of a 4-year-old with the vocabulary of a 9- – 12-month-old, hearing this is similar to nails on a chalkboard," says Vanek. While I certainly hope he can someday, hearing that he'll catch up doesn't help, especially when we've had him in speech therapy for the past three years." Children with intellectual disabilities will have many accomplishments, says Hartwell-Walker, but it's unlikely they all will "catch up" to their typical peers. "I'd love a trip to the spa or a week when I don't have to coordinate hours of therapy around my family's schedule," says Vanek. And I don't think I'm less of a parent for putting my child's needs ahead of my own desire for a pedicure." If you sense your friend can't get away, offer to pick up some of the slack for her."When confronted with that statement, a parent has to explain what may be a painful truth." Instead, suggests Ehlert, ask about their child's unique abilities and interests. Hartwell-Walker suggests that friends take on carpool duties, make meals now and then or babysit so that the parents can enjoy a date night. Help without an expectation of reciprocity provides a family with much needed respite."6.But plenty of well-meaning statements can come across the wrong way. "You're lucky you have a normal kid too."Along with "But he looks so normal!Read on for nine lines—all heard by real moms—that are likely to offend, plus ideas for what to say instead.1. "I want my kid compared to everyone else's kids and treated like his brothers and sisters who don't have special needs," says Mary Anne Ehlert, founder and president of Protected Tomorrows, an organization that provides support to families with special needs children. " this implies that there's something wrong with your friend's child."We're only given what we can handle."What you may intend as a compliment can come across as a meaningless platitude. When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster."Wow, you must be busy." You're probably trying to empathize by implying that this mom is maxed out with responsibilities. "We may have to schedule therapy visits around soccer practices and might even know the receptionist at the hospital by name, but we're doing what we must to survive—just like parents of typically developing kids," says Emily Vanek, who writes about her son's special needs at Colorado "'You're doing a great job.' That made me feel like I was keeping it together enough for people to notice." And instead of remarking on your friend's stress levels, offer support. "I'm sorry." While a sympathetic statement like this seems inoffensive, it can put the person you're saying it to in a tough spot. According to Marie Hartwell-Walker, a psychologist who works for the Massachusetts Department of Developmental Services and author of the upcoming e-book of their children.Joni Eareckson Tada, disabilities advocate and founder of Joni and Friends International Disability Center, suggests trying: "You have a group of friends—me included—who aren't going to let you go through this alone. As Vanek explains, "How am I supposed to answer that that? They shouldn't have to defend that love." So offer to listen, but don't try to solve what you deem to be a problem.
Finally, dessert was done, and Stephen began gathering the nerve to approach her.Find genuine fun and intimacy with disabled singles.Specialist disabled dating to meet single adult men and women who share your disability,condition or life challenge within a friendly vibrant disabled community.After I went back to campus each time Mom said, ‘I never get to see you!’ Yes, well, that’s because you were with your boy.” Dating for two is difficult; dating in a crowd is downright complicated.